Say YES

Last week I had one of those days where it’s not one big awful thing but a constant flow of one pretty of difficult thing after another. I spent the entire day counting and recounting how long it was until bedtime for all the kids. I had grand plans that were going to get me through this day. 

The kids were going to be in bed at 7:00pm on the dot, Daniel was going to be home late from a work thing so I was going to use the post-bedtime, hubby-free time to lay in bed with the secret candy stash the kids don’t know about while I watched some kind of foreign film with subtitles (“When I watch a movie I want to WATCH a movie, not read a movie” the hubs says).

Two Babies cases are both wrapping up and with that comes uncomfortable, difficult and sometimes painful meetings. Both cases managed to get their hands on this day.

I showed up to a specialist appointment for baby boy and realized the office is actually in our old fertility center office. The one where we got pregnant twice…and lost our baby…twice. I hesitated outside the building, debating how much he really needed the specialist. He’s lucky I love him.

Add to that just having a 3-year-old who is 3 years old and acts. like. a. three. year. old.

Right before the last hard task of the day, the last hurdle between me and my date with chocolate and foreign films, I realized in the mess and morning-to-night rushing I’d forgotten to feed the big kids both lunch and dinner (oops). I quickly threw graham crackers, raisins, and tortilla chips at the big kids while I gathered Two Babies then rushed all of us out the door, swearing promises of their favorite “out to eat” place after the meeting.

The meeting ended, drive-thru was obtained, the last hurdle was cleared, and I rushed home as quickly as I could while still trying to maintain my streak of never having been pulled over. With 4 turns left until my driveway we passed the carwash and my 7-year-old enthusitically asked if we could drive through. Laser-focused on Netflix and my secret stash of Dove chocolate, I immediately dismissed the idea. “No way, man! Next time.”

Then I recognized the opportunity to say yes, and turned around.

The hubs and I have been trying to say “YES” more. There are so many times we have to say no.

“No, 7-year-old, you may not drive the car to the park because no, despite your insistence, it’s NOT the same as the neighbor’s Power Wheels” 

“No, 3-year-old, you may not use the toaster in the bathtub.”

“No, 3-year-old, you can’t climb out on the two-story roof even with your promise to be ‘SUper CAREful’.”

“No, my lovely children, we won’t be making the 10 hour drive to Disneyland today…on a Tuesday…at 11am.”

We have to say “no” so often I think it’s become almost our default answer when they ask to do something. No, no, no, no, without putting much thought into it, no. So we’ve been watching for opportunities to say “yes” even when it’s inconvenient, even when we don’t WANT to. If it’s purely a matter of our comfort or convenience, not a matter of safety or health, we’ve been trying to say yes.

“Mama, can we have a movie night and stay up ALL NIGHT?!”
*that sounds exhausting and I’d rather bingewatch The Office and be asleep by 10*”YES!!! Let’s do it on Friday night so we can all have the weekend to recover.”

Guys, the car wash is the best.

We went through, blasting show tunes over the sound of the spraying jets and beating  scrubbers.

Then we went through again…

and again.

Three times through.

Three times through the carwash soothed my soul, man. 🙂 We belted out The Greatest Showman together through two rounds and I did breathing and mindfulness exercises through the third. I came out of there so zen and at peace with the day.

So if you’ve gotten stuck in a “no” rut like us, try to say “yes” more. Watch for those opportunities to follow a whim. Follow their little hearts around, say “yes”, and then say “yes” some more.